Snark and Stage Fright
Release Date: 03/10/15
Swoon Romance
Happily-ever-after isn’t as happy
or forever as Jane Austen makes it look. Just something Georgia Barrett learns
when her sharp tongue costs her the only guy she’s ever really cared about:
Michael Endicott.
Determined to move on, Georgia
lands the lead role in the school’s fall musical. But to survive on stage,
she’ll need to learn to express herself without her protective shield of snark.
She soon discovers being honest with others means being honest with herself,
and the truth is she’s still in love with Michael.
But from the looks of Michael’s new
girlfriend, Georgia isn’t the only one who tried to move on. Apparently, some
people are just better at it than others. And when Michael and his girlfriend
join the cast of the fall musical, Georgia finds out that snark and stage
fright are the least of her worries…
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We
heard Michael’s mom calling from the house, “Michael, phone for you!” and he
said, “Well, Georgia and I should get back to the house before we miss lunch …
”
“But
I just got here!” Catalina pouted for a second, then said, “Why don’t you go
take your call and grab something from the kitchen to bring back so we can
catch up? It’ll give me a chance to get to know Georgia—and tell her all your
dirty secrets.”
Michael
looked at me uncertainly, then back at the house, then back to me. I nodded,
albeit reluctantly, so he got up and started walking away. I wanted to stay on
that beach blanket and dish with Catalina about as much as I wanted a Sharknado
to shoot onto the beach and bite off one of my limbs. At least I’d have a story
to tell Cassie later, one that she would actually want to listen to—my
afternoon in the sand with my boyfriend’s supermodel summer beach house bestie.
Catalina stretched her impossibly long and
tanned legs in front of her and cooed,
“So
you and Michael are going out? He makes an excellent boyfriend, doesn’t he?
He’s a little stiff at first, but once you loosen him up … ”
I
could taste my breakfast in my throat when she said that.
“Michael
and I have had a little thing going every summer since I was about fourteen, I
guess,” she explained, then gave a sharp little laugh, “Guess not this year!”
“Guess
not.”
She
looked at me, all of me, up and down and back again, as if trying to figure out
how she’d lost out on her yearly fling to a troll like me. But as uncomfortable
as she was making me, I was determined to hold my tongue rather than upset any
more of Michael’s family, friends, and assembled guests, lest they send me back
over the Bourne Bridge to the mainland—leaving Michael here with Catalina.
“So
you and Michael … ?” Her question trailed off; it was too ridiculous to ask.
I
nodded and said, “Me and Michael.”
“Wow.
I mean, I’m sorry, but … Just—wow. It’s a surprise, that’s all.”
I
should have held my tongue. Manually. With both hands. But I just couldn’t.
Before
I could stop myself, I said, “Well, it’s part of his community service.”
Her
sandy brows drew together over her lowered sunglasses and she looked at me.
“Really?”
She drew out the word so that it had about eighteen syllables.
“Yeah.
Michael got arrested for passing bad checks. But he was just sentenced to
community service since his family knows the judge and all. So he has to take
orphan girls with no hope of modelling careers down to the Cape once or twice a
summer. And I’m this week’s lucky orphan!”
After
a few seconds, she snarled, “Michael would never pass bad checks,” and eyed me
with great indignation.
“That
was the part of the story you found unbelievable? Not the orphanage for failed
models?” I laughed.
“I’m
finding this whole situation pretty unbelievable, to tell you the truth.” She
shook her head. Don’t you find it an eensy weensy bit surprising yourself?” she
asked me and then sat there with two fingers poised like pincers a few
millimeters apart to indicate the “eensy weensy-ness” of my chances of being
with Michael.
“What’s
that, Catalina? Your cup size before the surgery?” I blurted out—just as
Michael showed up.
“Everything
okay here?” he asked after he dropped a cloth shopping bag filled with some
crusty bread, cheese, and a bunch of big green grapes onto the towel.
I
waited for Catalina to burst into wounded tears. But she chirped, “Georgia is
sooo funny,” as if we had just been laughing and braiding each other’s hair in
one of history’s finest moments of girl bonding.
Interesting
ploy.
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Stephanie Wardrop grew up in Reading, Pennsylvania, a town mostly famous for
being a railroad card in Monopoly. After giving up on her childhood goal of
becoming a pirate, she decided to become a writer but took a detour through
lots of college and grad school and ended up teaching writing and British and
American literature. She's the author of the Swoon Romance e-novella series
Snark and Circumstance, based on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, and lives
in western New England with her husband, kids, cats, and gecko.
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